Things we've lost
by Child of Gallifrey
Summary: Lots of one shots some songfics, of sad things that happen to our favourite characters from Tortal. Enjoy. R
1. DomKel

**_Hi_. I really loved this song and i thoght it kind of fitted.**

**Song: Grace is Gone by Dave Matthews Band.**

**Kel/Dom**

**Hope you enjoy please review.**

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_Neon shines through smoky eyes tonight_

_Its 2 am – I'm drunk again it's heavy on my mind_

_I could never love again so much as I love you_

_Where you end where I begin is like a river going through_

_Take my eyes take my heart I need them no more_

_If never again they fall upon the one I so adore_

I looked around the bar. It was empty. I was the last person drowning his sorrows, hoping to find happiness at the end of the bottle. But nothing would bring Kel back to me. I knew that. She was gone and she didn't know how much I loved her. Why didn't I just tell her? Mithros please take my eyes and heart. They will never again see the one I loved so much. What will I do now? How can I go on?

_Excuse me please one more drink_

_Could make it strong cause I don't need to think_

_She broke my heart my Grace is gone_

_One more drink and I'll move on_

The bartender seems reluctant to give me another drink. I mustn't think about her. Anything but Kel. She broke my heart but will never know it.

_One drink to remember then another to forget_

_How could I ever dream to find sweet love like you again_

_One drink to remember and another to forget_

I don't think I could ever find another girl to love as much as I loved Kel. None would ever live up to her. I am destined to die a lonely man now she is gone. I need one more drink to remember her smile, her laugh, the way she rode her horses, the way she fought and the way she died. And another to forget everything we could've been.

_Excuse me please one more drink_

_Could make it strong cause I don't need to think_

_She broke my heart my Grace is gone_

_One more drink and I'll move on_

_One more drink and I'll be gone_

There is one way I could join Kel forever more. The Black God's Option was always open to me but what would I leave behind? Raoul and my squad would morn but what was the point in living if I couldn't have her? I could take myself out of the picture and be with Kel forever. Could I do that to myself? I'm not that strong. Not without Kel.

_You think of things impossible and the sun refuse to shine_

_I woke with you beside me your cold hand lay in mine_

She used to be the sun to me. I would go and see her every day just so I could feel happy and warm again. But no she is gone will I ever feel the warmth again? The touch of the sun, the feel of a cool breeze against me skin? She took my feelings with me when she died now all that's left is a shell.

_Excuse me please one more drink_

_Could make it strong cause I don't need to think_

_She broke my heart my Grace is gone_

_One more drink and I'll go_

Raoul and Neal found me not long after. They dragged me to my rooms. I just lay in bed staring at the ceiling. The same thoughts going through my head. Whats the point to living if she is no longer here? She broke my heart and no amount of healing will ever mend it.

_Excuse me please one more drink_

_Could make it strong cause I don't need to think_

_She broke my heart my Grace is gone_

_One more drink and I'll move on_

_One more drink and I'll be gone_

_One more drink my Grace is gone_

I tried I honestly tried. I tried to forget my love for her. Only remember as a friend but everything seemed to remind me of her. The stables where Peachblossom and Hoshi still lived. The mess hall where she could've been seen eating with her year mates. The practice courts where I found her so many times getting better and better. I can't seem to get away from her. She haunts me. I need to move on. Give me another drink and I'll be gone. Together with Kel forever.

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**So i hope you enjoyed that. Might write more songfic things, who knows.**


	2. NawatAly

**Disclaimer: nothing is mine apart from the plot.**

**AlyXNawat. So this idea came to me one boring day in english. Added it too the random one shot folder. Hope you like. I like writing sad stories.**

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I want to go.

I want to forget.

I want to be able to walk the grounds without hearing her call my name.

I can't sleep alone at night.

I can't visit her office anymore. I would change back to the way I was born but I have a family to care for.

Everyone seems to have moved on but I can't.

The palace seems empty and quiet even though I know there are people around. I am more withdrawn these days. Barely see Dove or any of the others.

My children try not notice the difference. They want me to help them with their grief but I am still coping with my own.

My eldest came to me one day and said, "Daddy come back please. We know Mama is gone but you are still here and we need you." I looked into her green eyes, the same as her mothers and realised what a mess I had created. I had to fix it. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight.

"I'm sorry my chick. I'll be here whenever you need me. Wait here one sec. I need you see something quickly." She nodded, her dark hair bouncing.

I left the room quickly and made my way to the throne room.

I didn't go in, just stared at the grave stones beside the steeps.

My eyes glanced over 'the strong one' and 'the wise one' and came to rest on 'the cunning one'.

There she was.

My beloved wife, lost in the ground, so close to me yet so far away.

"I have to let you go my love. I'm sorry. I tried to keep you but it broke our family apart and it's my entire fault. I love you and will always love you."

I walked away slowly knowing that the ache in my heart would never fade.

It time it might age but there would always be a part of me that yearned for Aly to come home to me.

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**Sorry it's not long. But i hoped you enjoyed it. Sorry about any errors. World worst speller**


	3. RostoBeka

**Thought of it when i was bored in English. Very good time to think. Enjoy. (swear words used)**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns everything but my plot**

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I want to go back to the way we once were.

Laughing and smiling together.

We had the best of times.

She would make me happy and I would make her happy.

But I fucked it up.

I ruined everything.

Flashback

I was at my court enjoying the entertainment.

I was not completely sober. My judgements weren't great.

My eyes caught Corrie's and they wandered down her slender form. I licked my lips involuntary. She wasn't wearing much.

She walked over to me swinging her hips and I was caught in her spell immediately.

I didn't protest as she slid into my lap and snaked her arms around my neck.

She wasted no time sliding her tongue down my throat. I responded eagerly. My hands gliding over her back and hips teasing her at the edge of the fabric.

All thoughts of my Beka were gone.

Suddenly everything went silent.

I looked up to find everyone staring at the person who'd just walked in.

Her black tunic and breeches stood out against the array of colours. Her puppy trim was long gone. Ice cold eyes glared at me from across the room.

"Beka, listen. I can explain." That was my feeble excuse for the horrible thing I had done. I tried to push Corrie off but she wouldn't move. She even made it worse.

"Rosto, you're a naughty boy. You said she wasn't coming in tonight, that this night would just be us." She said in an innocent voice.

Beka turned on her heels and stormed out the door.

I pushed Corrie again.

"Get off me." I growled and ran after Beka.

She hadn't got far.

I grabbed her arm to stop her. "Beka wait. Listen to me." She swung her baton and whacked my arms causing me to let go. "Ow" I rubbed my arm. "Beka please wait. Listen I can explain."

"Oh I don't think so Piper. It's all very clear to me. You are just like every other fucking cove. You get bored with one mot and move on. I promised myself I wouldn't end up like my own mother. I thought you were different. I trusted you Rosto and you betrayed me." She started to walk off again.

I grabbed her arm again. "Beka don't do this."

"Let go of me Rosto."

I was being stubborn, something I'd learnt from her. "No, not until you hear me out."

"It's a crime to attack a Dog. Let go of me."

I dropped her arm like it was on fire.

Her eyes were blazing. She had never done this to me before; bring in the law to our relationship.

But she had and that changed everything.

I watched her disappear into the crowd.

My beloved Beka beyond my reach.

End of Flashback

I'm all alone now.

I have no friends.

I used to be loved by many but that loved died the night I screwed up.

Kora and Aniki don't talk to me anymore unless it's about business.

I was kicked out of the breakfasts and am never invited anywhere.

I tried talking to Beka but she wouldn't listen.

I guess she got fed up with my stupid excuses because one morning she turned to me and glared one of her ice stone glares. She told me, "No Rosto. I have nothing more to say to you but goodbye."

That broke my already shattered heart.

I live most of my life at the Court now. There is no welcome for me at home.

Each time I walk past the river I consider the Black God's option.

It would be easier for everyone if I were dead.

But I'm not that strong.

Not without Beka.

I can't do that to myself.

I want things to go back to the way it once was. Beka in my arms forever.

But I screwed up and nothing will ever change the Terrier's mind.

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**What you think? Like? Don't like? Tell me**


	4. BekaRosto

**Songfic. Beka/Rosto**

**Song: Bad Reputation **

_Enjoy_

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You spurn my natural emotions  
You make me feel like dirt  
And I'm hurt  
And if I start a commotion  
I run the risk of losing you  
And that's worse

She doesn't really notice me at all but when I see her my world lights up. As though she is a bolt of lightening striking right down on my heart. I don't think she realises that she treats me like everyone else which makes me feel like dirt. I want to be the favoured one but I don't want to ruin anything we could have. Losing Beka would be the worst thing in my life.

_Ever fallen in love with someone  
Ever fallen in love  
In love with someone  
Ever fallen in love  
In love with someone  
You shouldn't've fallen in love with  
_

I can't believe I've fallen in love with her. I shouldn't have. It's like it's against the law. For crying out loud she is a Dog and I'm a Rat. King of the Rats even. It just should be at all. I've fallen in love with the one person who I shouldn't have. It's some God's little joke on me.

_I can't see much of a future  
Unless we find out what's to blame  
What a shame  
And we won't be together much longer  
Unless we realize that we are the same  
_

No one can see the future even though I'd give anything to see where we end up. I want to blame Beka for everything, for not loving me but I can't. I just stay her friend and hope that one day she will realise that we are so alike because if she doesn't then I think we won't be together as friends much longer.

_Ever fallen in love with someone  
Ever fallen in love  
In love with someone  
Ever fallen in love  
In love with someone  
You shouldn't've fallen in love with  
_

I can't believe I've fallen in love with Beka. I always thought I'd be the lone ranger never hooking on to one chit but then she walked in with her beautiful grey eyes and features and I couldn't help myself. She is amazing. The best friend anyone could ever ask for though I want so much more from her. To hold her tight in my arms but I can't. I shouldn't have fallen in love with her at all.

_You disturb my natural emotions  
You make me feel like dirt  
And I'm hurt  
And if I start a commotion  
I'll only end up losing you  
And that's worse  
_

She has ruined everything in my body. My emotions are all jumbled up I can't think safe anymore. She makes me feel like dirt though I don't think she realises how much she hurts me with her rejections. Part of me is screaming to push harder for her love but I'll only end up losing her. Another part of me tells me to give up and just accept that she could never love me. I can't decide. The war inside me rages on while she is on the outside not knowing what she had caused. I don't want to lose her but I can't bear to be apart from her.

_Ever fallen in love with someone  
Ever fallen in love  
In love with someone  
Ever fallen in love  
In love with someone  
You shouldn't've fallen in love with  
_

Falling in love with Beka has ruined my life. I shouldn't have done it but it's beyond my control. My love life is something of joke to the God's above. Falling in love with Beka is a joke to anyone but me. I can't tell anyone they'd just laugh. I want Beka in my life more than anything but it seems our love is to be forbidden. I swear one way or another I will make Beka love me if it kills me._  
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**tell me what you think.**

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	5. KelDom

**Hello. This story is based on the song 'Someday you will be loved' by Death Cab for Cutie. Hope you enjoy it. **

**Dom/Kel**

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I once knew a girl in the years of my youth. She was beautiful and brilliant.

But being me, I fled; afraid of commitment.

All I left was a note that read, _Someday you WILL be loved. _

I cannot pretend that I felt any regret because I know that each broken heart will mend in time. She will stitch herself back together with needle and thread. She has so many friends to help I could never keep count.

I know that someday she will be loved. She will be loved; I know that for the truth. She has a heart big enough to fill the whole world and me including.

The memories of me will seem more like bad dreams, just a series of blurs like I never occurred.

She will be loved more than I could ever have loved her. Someone she deserves, like a strong man will sweep her off her feet and I will be forgotten.

I can picture her alone, falling asleep. Muttering to herself "every time I trust the wrong guy, every time" as tears roll down her cheeks.

I know her heart belongs to someone she has yet to meet, someday she will be loved.

I ran that night I left her; an outcast.

I had to, I would've been killed.

I got many angry letters from those I once counted as friends.

I got one from Neal threatening that if I ever showed my face in Corus again I would disappear without a trace. I knew he wouldn't be lying. There was a long list of people who would kill me because I hurt Kel.

I got one very formal and stern letter from Raoul saying that I have been exiled from the Own because I ran away. It's a load of crap really but I bet you can't sack someone for messing up the Lady Knight's life.

I got one last letter.

It was one I didn't expect. From Kel herself. I hadn't expected one from her even one as short as hers. It had only one three letter word on the whole page. That one word turned my world upside down and made me think about what I had done with my life and I how stupid I was to let her go.

That one word was

_Why?_

**So what did you think? Like? YOu should find the song. It's really good.**

**XOx**

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